A "VALUABLE" INFORMANT

We arrange a meeting with a valuable informant: the old lady knows a lot of songs and plays the balalaika. We come and knock , but there is no answer. The next day - the same thing. We're starting to worry. We notify relatives. Attempts to reach the old woman by the entire collective farm remain unsuccessful. Together with the district police officer, we decide to break down the door. We take out the door and see the "oil painting": the hostess is sitting on the windowsill in the back room, holding a balalaika in her hands. It turned out that the old lady, having made an appointment with us, decided to paint the floor, but did not move from the back room to the door, but on the contrary - from the front door to the back of the house. It wasn't until her heels hit the wall that she realized her mistake. Well, do not trample on the freshly painted floor! Granny sat on the windowsill and waited for the paint to dry. There was an aloe flower on the windowsill, which she ate, and water for watering, which she drank. And next to it on the wall hung a balalaika - my grandmother sang songs so that it would not be boring. She met the crowd that had fallen in shouting: "Kuda?! Kuda sapozhishchami something prete?!!"

accident

In expeditions, injuries also occur (God forbid, of course). Then you have to go to the hospital, to the village doctors (low bow to them). I had to meet one of them when we brought our colleague to the hospital: he fell and hurt himself badly. Hearing shouts of "we are associate professors with candidates" and our confused explanations, the doctor ordered: "Bring the body in!". After a thorough examination, a recommendation to "take care of yourself" followed and a certificate was issued with the diagnosis: "Fracture of the eighth rib due to a fall on a stump a week ago."

it happens

A well-known series of jokes about the nonsense of Siberians.

We go to the camp along the bank of the river. I'm thirsty. One of us goes down to the shore, and it is steep, clay. Men are sitting on the opposite bank, smoking. Our hero gets down on all fours and bends down to the water. At this moment, under the weight of his body, the ledge of the washed-up bank collapses, and the man plops into the water with a flourish, flounders for a long time, spits, finally crawls out all in mud, shakes himself off and says somehow guiltily:"Well, I wanted to drink." The peasants, who were watching these torments with unruffled calm, took several solid draughts and said nothing more: "Byvat!".

Permanent link to this publication: